I shouldn't like this, but I do.

102 Things Guys need to know about Girls! (The males response)!

"The males response is typed in CAPS. Sorry, I know it's annoying, but there's no text editor.

1. Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you!
US BOYS TALK TOO. YOU CAN TURN FROM THE CUTE CATHOLIC GIRL INTO THE NYMPHO FRUITCAKE VERY QUICKLY.

2. Be aware of all your girlfriends’ guy friends, brothers, fathers, or anything. They are protective. Every single male friend we have will kick your ass if you end up hurting her.
I'M SURE THEY'LL UNDERSTAND. THEY ALL DICKS.

3. Never ever miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful. We girls love that.
BUT WE LOOK PRETTY GOOD IN OUR NEW JEANS. WHERE'S OUR COMPLIMENT?

4. If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.
IF WE PUNCH YOU HARD, YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE MADE US A SAMMICH.

5. Do not be afraid of holding her. If she’s going out with you in the first place, it’s obvious that she likes you and wants to be in your arms.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO PUT OUT ON THE FIRST DATE. IF WE ASKED YOU OUT TO DINNER, IT'S OBVIOUS THAT WE WANT TO FUCK YOU.

6. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend -- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or hoodie’s, and a really pretty piece of jewelry.
EVERY MALE SHOULD GET THREE THINGS FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND - SILENCE, SANDWICH AND ANAL.

7. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. We GIRLS think that’s really cute and sweet.
YOU CAN'T CALL US TO SAY THAT YOU GOT HOME SAFELY?

8. If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the sh!t out of him.
DAMN RIGHT. A MALE SHOULD JUST KILL THAT MOTHER FUCKER. RIGHT? THEN HE SHOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT JUDGE FOR THREATENING HIM WITH JAIL, CONVICTIONS AND COMMUNITY SERVICE. THEN BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE WHO OPPOSES. NOW, WHO SAID WOMEN ARE PEACEFUL?

9. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. It’ll make her feel secure that you love her more than the other girl.
THE OTHER GIRL DOESN'T NEED TO BE ASSURED EVERY THREE SECONDS AND I BET SHE DOESN'T NAG AS MUCH EITHER. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?

10. Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
YES, WE ARE A TREE. WE WILL NOT REACT TO ANYTHING. BEAT US SENSELESS PLEASE."

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